Servers come out of the womb looking for someone to help. This is the child who wanders into the kitchen while mom’s making supper and sets the table without being asked. This is also a child who wants to help little brother with his alphabet rather than working on her math problems. Servers are quiet, background people. They may be seen as shy when in reality they are observing and absorbing. Instead of making things happen, they are seeking to understand what is happening so they can find their place.
In the body of Christ, the server is master of all! In Luke 22:26 Christ was talking about people who strive to be more important than everyone else: “But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.”
Jesus himself was the greatest servant of all and those with the server gift are graced with this ability, the rest of us have to work on it a bit harder.
Servers in childhood
As young children, especially, the server will hang back in new situation, hesitant to join in, often overwhelmed by the energy and forcefulness of more aggressive children.
Servers are not big talkers. They don’t express their emotions in words so much as in actions. Learn to recognize (and praise) their acts of service as expressions of love. They have a hard time putting words to their feelings and need time to think about it. Don’t push them to share their feelings, especially right after an emotional event. Give them time, don’t press, but leave the door for communication open. Since they are not strong in verbal skills and don’t feel much need to push themselves to achieve they aren’t given the praise and accolades they see other children receiving. This leads to self image problems if parents aren’t making an effort to give their server the recognition they need. Of all the spiritual giftings, servers, along with compassion children, are the most sensitive, the most apt to be described as “shy”.
Often parents will get very concerned about this shyness and attempt to help the child “get over it.” Being shy is an integral part of their gift. This behavior is the server’s way of assessing a situation and deciding how they fit in. Since they have a naturally slower pace to life, they will take a bit of time getting use to new situations. Parents can help by first, teaching them why their behavior is NOT a problem to be conquered but a gift that needs maturing, and second, give them time to acclimate to new experiences.
Servers in action
Megan is a server child and it was obvious from a very early age. At 8 years old, when she went to visit a great-grandma in the nursing home, she took to helping out with activities in the recreation department. Thanks to a wonderful rec. department director, Megan was invited to volunteer on a regular basis. For almost 4 years she went there every week to spend an hour or two helping with the different activities. When she started taking piano lessons, she brought in her keyboard to perform for the residents. After she took her dog through special obedience training, she brought the dog to the nursing home and shared him with the residents. It was a wonderful and useful training of her serving gifts that provided the positive reinforcement and appreciation she needed to help her self-confidence.
Express love through actions
Hands – on